You’d have to be pretty self-absorbed and living in an insulated bubble to not notice the “conversation” about race, privilege, police violence, and institutional bias going on this country. And what’s less self-absorbed and un-bubble-like than an online journal devoted to one’s own home renovation and decorating projects?
But what do race and privilege have to do with a DIY blog, you ask? Simply that it exists! It is a big expression of our privilege as white, cis-gendered women from well-resourced households that, if we choose, we can totally ignore all that is happening and go on prattling about cement vases, kitchen remodels, and dinosaur decor, of all things. During the week when Alton Sterling and Philando Castille were shot and killed by police and then five police officers were killed by a sniper while standing duty during a protest against those shootings, we were laboring over a post about removing dollhouse wallpaper. Don’t get us wrong, this is still a DIY blog and we’ll go back to those ever-important topics, but we think it is important to talk about this, too.
We look at what is happening today — the fact that unarmed black men are 7 times more likely to be killed by police than unarmed white men, the fact that median net worth for white households is $116,8oo and for black households is $1,700, with the gap only widening — and feel incredibly angry and helpless. If you feel the same, the first step is to educate yourself about what is going on, both in the news and in the unseen forces (like unconscious bias) that lurk behind our daily world and shape it in immense and terrifying ways. The “educate yourself” in this is incredibly important — we cannot ask people of color to take on this work of educating us about privilege and racism on top of the burden they bear just trying to exist in a world centered around whiteness.
Since we’re certainly not experts in this, we wanted to use this space to share a handful of articles that we’ve read recently and found interesting, informative, or helpful. Whether you’ve read and thought widely on this or just followed the conversation in the news, we hope at least one will be interesting or thought-provoking!
First off, we need to acknowledge that this can be a bit of a hard topic to get started on, particularly if you’re white and have *tried* to live a moral, un-racist life. Start by breaking the assumption that you are automatically a bad person if you have ever acted in a way that is biased. This post (from which we shamelessly lifted today’s post-title) with embedded TED Talk on the same topic, is helpful because it asks us to move to a “dental hygiene” model of eliminating bias. Clean people look inside themselves in the mirror multiple times every day and eliminate bias clean the plaque from their teeth. And if someone points out that they have something stuck in their teeth, they are obviously mortified but also grateful.
Start off by acknowledging to yourself that just by living in this world you will have plaque build-up and sometimes even a cavity. That isn’t a reason to give up on going to the dentist altogether, and (like Sage this very morning in the actual dentist’s chair) you may come to accept that discomfort is inevitable and acceptable…and is nothing compared to getting killed by the police during a traffic stop.
From that mindset, please enjoy these articles:
On Institutional Racism:
- On how housing policies and practices have made it much harder for black families to build wealth
- A long and incredibly devastating account of how American society has preyed on black people from slavery to the present day – and what we need to do now
- Why white privilege still holds for poor white people, and why understanding intersectonality can help get away from the “but it was hard for me, too” dismissal
- A quick cartoon tale of how privilege (in this case, economic, but I think still helpful) can change the course of your life, without you knowing it
On Black Lives Matter:
- On why there is a need for “Black Lives Matter” rather than “All Lives Matter”
- Because it is that important, another one on why there is a need for “Black Lives Matter” rather than “All Lives Matter”
- One argument for why it makes sense for the Black Lives Matter movement to be focused on police violence (rather than other kinds of violence)
On Whiteness and This Movement:
- On the concept of “white fragility,” or why it can be so hard for white people to talk about race and racism (written by a white person)
- One account of how white people can help
- On why we need to stop celebrating “ice cream cops” because these are dangerous and meaningless stunts
We both felt strongly about sharing some thoughts on this particular topic right now. Not because individual and institutional racism is a new problem (it’s not) and not because it’s the only problem worth caring and talking about (also not). And we may find ourself sharing more about other issues that are important to us other than what paint will stand the test of time on our kitchen cabinets and whether those tiny bloggers will install a second bathroom or not.
In the meantime, we’re taking a little summer vacation (not an actual vacation, just a blogging vacation — we’re both still working like there’s no tomorrow), and we’ll be back with some project progress on August 22!
Amen, Sisters!
Although it’s nice to have these blogs to get a break from all the violence and the politics. Which, believe me, I keep up with, and it gets me down.
I hope you have a lovely vacation!
Thanks Bonnie!
Thank you for your cogent comments!
Thank you for your feedback, Carol!
All I can say is, I stay totally out of the politics, statistics and opinions on this subject. As a mom, I do my very best to model reaching out to every human being simply because they are one! We don’t watch TV or movies and we homeschool, so my kids are naturally not racist. But, I have had many talks with them , after recent events, to teach them that we need to go the extra mile to reach out to people that we don’t easily clique with. I can’t help that poorer or colored people think I’m rich or privileged, but I can cross the fence and invite them in. I grew up dirt poor, single mom who was a high school dropout, on welfare, 2 babies by 20 years old, then worked her backside off to move up in life with no additional education or handouts. I want poor folks to know, it can be done! They are not slaves to poverty. And if me crossing the fence that someone else built to invite them in and up could make a difference in just one person’s life, I WILL do it. And work my self to the grave teaching my kids that COMPASSION is the first emotion we need when looking at others.
I agree I came from nothing. I busted my butt, working and going to school to better myself there were days I didn’t have food to eat. I did it. I made it. Excuses are too easy sometimes. Not saying there are people who need more help. It is mostly up to the person.
I agree that hard work is important, but the reality is that some people can work very very hard and it still won’t be enough. That’s where the systemic piece comes in. I simply don’t believe that the explanation for why white households have a median net worth almost 70 times that of black households can be explained by differences in work ethic. That doesn’t mean that the people who have done well for themselves *didn’t* work hard, it just means that there is more (like luck and systems that determine access to opportunity) that plays a big role in determining our outcomes in life.
Agreed, Sage! A great metaphor for this (I can’t remember where I read it) is the teacher who gave all his students a ball of paper and told them that their grade would be determined by whether they could throw it into the trash bin at the front of the class. Not all of the kids in the front row made it – but they certainly had a much easier shot and did much better overall than the kids in the back row. The kids in the middle rows certainly had a challenge, but they shouldn’t forget that there were others sitting farther back, still. Their throwing skill had something to do with it but where they sat within that system also had an influence.
If anyone is intrigued by this comment thread, I do encourage you to check out the links in the “on institutional racism” section of the post for some great writing that gets at these topics.
Well done.
Thank you!
Thank you.
Thanks Marcia!
Thanks for using your blog as a platform in this way, specifically helping fellow white people understand and process their privilege. It is important. And I looked forward to reading your posts – even the ones about dollhouse wallpaper – for a good dose of self care.
Thanks, Stephanie! We appreciate it!
I congratulate all people who are able to climb their way out of poverty, but we need to recognize that our life experiences bias us to believe that all people can climb out of impoverished situations by simply working hard. There are institutional –societal– biases that make it incredibly difficult for people of color to change their socio-economic position by virtue of their will. I have no doubt that growing up poor –whether white or black or brown– was incredibly difficult. We may not consider ourselves racist, but we are all biased by our experiences. Because you lifted yourself out of poverty, you believe that everyone has the ability to do so. However, there are systemic injustices towards people of color that limited their ability to do so. Our ability to first recognize our own biases or privilege and institutional biases (and racism) will help us develop empathy and be able work towards a more just and equitable society. We have a problem –a BIG one. Thank you, Sage and Naomi for recognizing your privilege. It’s a great first step.
Very well and fairly said, Molly! Thanks for making that point explicit. That “just work hard and you’ll make it” argument is so dangerous.
I really love that you wrote this, knowing you’d get some haters but knowing it’s important to use your platform.
Thank you Claudia!
so interesting to read this, and then this morning to pick up a copy of Domino and see all the more clearly how full it is of wealthy white people. The decor-blog world generally is. I appreciate some balance, and a reminder that what we do in our homes doesn’t obviate our connections to the big wide world outside. Thanks for posting.
Great observation, Andrea! It is definitey a world that is very white and very wealthy – and if it feels that way to us, I can only imagine how it must feel to others. But I think you said it right that having hobbies (in our case, DIY) doesn’t remove the real responsibility we have to try to change our world. Thanks for reading and commenting!
Thanks for writing this really, really important post. Makes me like your blog even more.
Thank you for reading and commenting Megan! I’m glad you found it to be good!
First, and most importantly, thank you for helping us all have the opportunity to think about these things. These are issues near and dear to my heart.
But second, I actually squealed with delight and had to tell my boyfriend when one of my decorating blogs quoted Jay Smooth and the Ill Doctrine. I can’t recommend his material enough – generally, on all topics – but also specifically on race issues. He’s very good a making difficult concepts easy and helping you to understand why something that might not seem important at first glance can be very important to a lot of people.
Thanks, Shadlyn! Really apprecite the words and really glad to smany of our readers are having such a warm reaction. Also, Jay Smooth is awesome!
Yes, just yes (and particularly the bit about not placing an expectation of ‘being educated’ on the black and brown community).