Our Love-Themed Party

Happy Valentine’s Day week! Last week Naomi and I shared some homemade gifts for our valentines, and this week I thought I’d share a bit about a big love-themed party I threw a little while back. By which I mean: my wedding.

I wrote a 6,000 word post, and I then I realized that was insane. So I decided to break it into a few posts — this week I’ll share more generally about the wedding, and in the future I’ll be back to share all of the DIY projects I did for it.

Let me just say up front that I am not one of those brides who DIY-ed everything and claims to have spent like $150 total on her wedding. We had very generous support from our parents to make this wedding possible, and while it was far more than we could have spent on our own we also managed to stay below the national average for weddings (in an expensive city, nonetheless). To keep within our budget while also getting what felt like a dream wedding, we made a list of our priorities and splurged on those things while trimming or eliminating everything else. In wedding planning, hundreds of experts and blogs will tell you about everything You Absolutely Must Have, and the only way to throw an affordable wedding seems to be to ignore this advice and just focus on the things that are most important to you as a couple.

For us, the right approach was to figure out where we wanted to DIY, and where we wanted to hire professionals. We held it at an external venue (instead of someone’s home), and had caterers, a professional photographer, day-of wedding coordinator (best.investment.ever), florist (who just provided some simple arrangements for each table and a few bouquets), hair and makeup, and a Justice of the Peace to marry us. But we chose to DIY most of the décor, music, and printed materials. We also wrote our wedding ceremony ourselves. After 22 months of planning, the day itself was more lovely than we could have imagined, and we were so happy with all the choices we’d made. Ultimately, it felt like we put a plan in place that was perfect for us so that when the day came we just sort of floated through without noticing any of the things we’d spent years agonizing over because we were so caught up in the joy of being with our closest loved ones and celebrating the love we’ve found in each other. Mushy, I know, but we’re talking about a wedding here.

So, here’s how it all went down!

First off, the single best decision we made was hiring a day-of coordinator. I was adamant about this from the start, despite being very budget conscious — everyone kept asking me if I had “an organized friend who could help,” and I kept reminding them that *I* am the organized friend. I’ve done professional event planning, I love logistics spreadsheets and timelines, and organizing this sort of thing is my idea of a good time. I wanted to do most of the planning myself, but there was no way I would be able to relax and fully enjoy myself unless I had someone I trusted to take everything over the day of the wedding. We hired Michelle at The Day Of, and it really was the best decision we could have made (even though we truly loved all our vendors) — she allowed us to fully enjoy the day and go with the flow, while knowing that everything was proceeding according to plan (and problems were being fixed without us even knowing about them).

On the day of our wedding, my bridesmaids and I got ready at my apartment and Sam met up with the groomsmen in the hotel room where his brother was staying. I decided to have my hair and makeup done professionally, a decision I agonized over but am so glad I did. I wanted to look like myself on my wedding day, but also feel confident and beautiful.

We hired a car service in advance to send a sedan for me and Sam and the end of the evening, but to get to the venue earlier in the day we relied on UberSUV. I don’t think our Uber driver knew what hit him when he showed up and realized he was transporting a wedding party, but he was great.

We had a 6pm wedding, and arrived at the venue at 4pm to do a First Look and take photos beforehand. Some couples really want the ceremony to be the first time they see each other and I totally get that, but Sam and I wanted to get that pressure out of the way in a private setting instead of with a hundred people staring at us. I was hyperventilating a little thinking about all those eyes on me as Sam and I had that moment of seeing each other, and felt so much better knowing that we would keep that separate. Plus it allowed us to do all the photography beforehand when we were feeling fresh, and begin socializing with our guests immediately after the ceremony.

We got married at the Arlington Town Hall in Arlington, MA, which is the active home for the Arlington city offices and local functions like Town Meeting, school concerts, etc. However, it’s also a gorgeous, historic building (101 years old in 2014) with an incredible reception hall and lovely outdoor gardens. The very reasonable rental fee includes use of all the indoor and outdoor space, and the funds are used to maintain and restore the building which we really liked.

We had our ceremony outside under a tree:

Sam’s incredibly talented siblings did the ceremony music, including prelude music, processional, recessional, and accompanying the hymns. They are amazing.

Our cocktail hour was on the brick patio near a fountain to the side of the ceremony area:

And then our reception was inside the Town Hall auditorium, which is a beautiful space:

My dress was from David’s Bridal, and I loved it. With the alterations, undergarments, and dress itself I spent about $800, which is a steal compared to what most places get away with charging. I liked that David’s has so many affordable options that I felt like I had a wide variety of options to pick from, rather than getting stuck with the cheapest dress at a more upscale boutique.

For accessories, I wore $20 blue flats from Payless Shoes, a pearl necklace that belonged to my grandmother, earrings that my dad gave me in my stocking for Christmas, and a small clutch that I sewed myself (for emergency items like advil, bandaids, etc). Our wedding colors were coral and turquoise, so I wanted my accessories to reflect that.

I worked with an amazing florist on the flowers, and she was so understanding of our budget and us not wanting to do too much. She made an incredible bouquet for me.

Sam wore a suit and shirt he already owned, and a tie that matched the ties we got for the groomsmen from Express (which doubled as the groomsmen gifts).

I asked my bridesmaids to wear blue dresses of whatever shade and style they wanted, and then gave them statement coral necklaces that I found on Urban Peach Boutique as gifts. Instead of bouquets, each of them carried a few sunflowers wrapped in turquoise ribbon.

The reception was so much fun, if I don’t say so myself — an amazing meal (the caterers were awesome, I swear when we walked around it looked like people had licked their plates clean, please someone else I know get married in Boston and use Capers Catering so I can eat their food again), toasts that were simultaneously side-splitting and sweet from our brothers and dads, and then lots of dancing.

We prepared our own dinner and dancing playlists from itunes rather than splurging on a DJ or band. We had to put time into thinking about how to get people dancing and the flow of songs, and we spent about $100 buying new music on itunes. But I think everyone had a great time dancing, and it was absolutely worth it to save the $1500 that it would have cost to hire a DJ. We asked Sam’s brother, The Best Man, to help us with a little bit of emceeing to make the transitions between toasts, but we tried to keep it all very simple so that he could enjoy the evening for the most part.

And then all too soon the last song was playing and we found ourselves saying our goodbyes. We ended up going out to a bar with many of our friends for an after-party, and it made me realize that life would be awesome if I could just wear my wedding dress every day. Free drinks forever, I imagine. There was another bride at the bar and I wanted to arm wrestle her (I’d been working out my arms a lot to get my perfect Michelle Obama Wedding Arms), but my “friends” wouldn’t let me.

We fell asleep around 3am totally exhausted and with cheeks smarting from so much smiling. I think the photos capture it better than words really could.